Wardrobe Malfunctions 101: Trucker Clothing Choices

wendy wardrobe malfunctions

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Sitting here in the truck at the Flying J in Ohio, watching the trucks come in and out, I feel blessed to have the life I do right now. I have my husband, family, and friends. I love going home to see everyone. To sit by the fire outside or the fireplace in the house.


You’d Be Amazed At The Things You See Out Here


I like to people watch as well. I am not ashamed to admit it. I am not perfect in any way, and I know that I should have a little compassion for some of the people I see in these truck stops.


HOWEVER, if you knock on my door at 3AM looking to get some, well, you will not like what you get. I am so tired of people knocking on my door to see if my husband would like some company. Honey, don’t you see that I am a woman in this big ol truck with this man? Do you think I am going to let you in my truck? Do you think I am stoned or stupid? Hell No! Take your smelly truck stop bathroom washed hoochie and go home. Find a real job! How many diseases do you have anyway?  UM NO…..


I watched security in a golf cart in California one night chase this one woman all around the parking lot to try and catch her so they could throw her out. They never did catch her. It was quite funny. Everyone in the truck stop that had a CB was having a good time with that one.


Guys, Really Think About What You’re Wearing


trucker wardrobe malfunctions guy walking


Guys, when you get out of your truck, make sure your pants are pulled up! I don’t know how you all can carry your paperwork in one hand with no belt for the pants that you bought 4 times bigger than your waist, and you are concentrating on holding your pants up with the other hand and half your -ss is hanging out.


Good Lord! Now, if you think that is sexy, you need to go back to school. Better yet, here is a question for ya: if you have to run, how is that possible?  Do you let them drop to the ground and run out of them? I am not trying to be rude by any means. Truly, I would like to know. I thought running in heels was difficult, but I would fall flat on my face.


trucker wardrobe malfunctions man shirt


Here is another clothes issue I see. Now, this is my opinion only. I do not want people to think I am mean here. But, big men (don’t want to say that any other way don’t want to offend you), you know who you are. Please go back to the store and buy bigger shirts.You know, the ones that are a little bigger in the belly and a little longer than the extra flap of belly that hangs below your belt line. Nobody wants that shirt that shows every roll and some stuff that is stuck between your belly and your pants for all the world to see.


Girls, You’re Guilty Too!


Okay ladies, it’s our turn. We see the world a different way. We see it as “Oh I like that outfit she has on” and we go get it. Well, what looks good on some will not look good on all of us. Now let me say that I liked the spandex, and the other stretchy pants and some cute little sweat pants and cute little tops that make our girls pop out, and short shorts that make our booty look cute. It must look cute, because we have seen others look cute in these, so ours must, too…right? UM, NO…… please, think about what you do for a living. Don’t do this to yourself.


trucker wardrobe malfunctions again


We do not need to be mistaken for a lot lizard. We don’t need to show our lady parts through our clothes. Spandex and stretchy pants do NOT look good on us females that are overweight. When we have to wiggle and jiggle and jump up and down, lay on the bunk to tuck 10lbs of extra skin in a 5lb-rated piece of cloth, it is NOT sexy. All I see is cornflakes in a garbage bag. Know what I mean?


Sorry ladies, but this is the cold hard truth. If your feelings are hurt, well like my dad has always told me growing up.


”Sometimes the truth does hurt.”


Wear What Fits


trucker wardrobe malfunctions what fits


Please just sit back and really think about this. Once you do, maybe you will see what I am talking about. Find clothes that fit you. You will look so much better and feel better about you. My husband told me this, and he is right. As much as I hated the fact that I needed bigger clothes, he is right.


I Speak From Personal Experience


Ok, so I have had some wardrobe malfunctions in my lifetime. Trust me. I have pictures and I’m not afraid to post them. Oh, and my hair was way out of control, I will give you a laugh and post a few.


trucker clothing choices wendy


When I look back on what I looked like, I realized that this is not the way to represent myself and the company I worked with. I fell into the “I don’t care ho-hum” attitude. Fast food, Ihop, Mcdonalds, Dairy Queen, and eating on the road was fantastic, until I started growing out of my jeans. So it was sweatpants time, then the spandex type pants too. Shorts???? Um NO… I would dehydrate myself in sweatpants before finding a pair of shorts that fit me.


trucker clothing choices silly wendy


Tom had done the same thing. Except, his shorts still looked good on him. Well, we both started having health issues. That was our wake up call. That, and I fell a couple times because I was just clumsy, but 3 times in one week? Walking my dog. The last time I fell, I was so embarrassed and hurt. A couple of really nice men came to me to see if I was ok and help me up. When I waddled back to the truck, I had to take my pants off to look at my knee because I couldn’t pull them up over my calf. That was when I decided to do something about myself.


trucker clothing choices wendy again


Only you can choose the right things, no one can make you. Take a good hard look at how you’re presenting yourself and make sure it’s how you really want to.


Night all. Stay safe

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